Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
