Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She even gives head with a lisp.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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