I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
