You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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