Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize