I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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