He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
