just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
