...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
