I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
