She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
