That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
we're so committed to being not committed
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
