Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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