the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
