with your own penis?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
