Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
