are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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