quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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