Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Everything about him screamed your future.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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