just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
