We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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