Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
