Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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