Well apparently he's into motor boating.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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