Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
