hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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