Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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