Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize