closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
