True but thats because hes a fetus.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize