But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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