Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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