Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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