Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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