I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
