so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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