i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
