my mouth tastes like poor choices
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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