Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize
