Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He shit in the fireplace
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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