I've blown a few things in my day
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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