I wish I could punch you in the face.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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