I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
