i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
