Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize