He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
