There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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