he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
