WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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