We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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