yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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