You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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