Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
