Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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