Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
