**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
