I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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