you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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