how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm having to shit out rocks
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