Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
