I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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